Kia ora e te whaanau,

I hope you have all had a great week! 

Pink Shirt Day is coming up on Friday (tomorrow). This is an annual event that Puketaha School participates in, as do many schools worldwide. It is aimed at raising awareness of the importance of standing up to bullying. During our Monday Hui, we talked about Pink Shirt Day and explored strategies for recognising and addressing bullying. We talked about establishing a clear definition since not all instances of unkind behaviour qualify as bullying. 

For many young children, conflict, rudeness, and unkindness often stem from their ever-developing social skills or self-awareness regarding their emotions and reactions. Frequently, resolving conflict and underlying frustrations can be achieved through open communication and clarifying misunderstandings. Developing emotional regulation also reduces impulsive and negative behaviours. Our children learn these essential skills as they grow and require continual support and coaching. Additionally, it's important to recognise and address genuine bullying behaviour, as situations can escalate to a point where both the bully and the victim find themselves in difficult circumstances. Balancing our role as adults means knowing when to step in and when to let children tackle challenges on their own. Intervening too quickly can rob them of valuable opportunities to develop skills like communication, social interaction, and problem-solving. By providing support while allowing them space to learn from their experiences, we empower children to become independent and resilient individuals. It's about striking the right balance between guidance and independence to help them thrive.

When a child comes across unkind or bullying behaviour, they can be an ‘upstander’ rather than a bystander. A bystander can unintentionally appear to support a bully if they say or do nothing. An upstander, however, can be a big support to other people and show the person being unkind that their behaviour is not accepted by the collective. 

We talked with the tamariki about strategies to be an upstander…

• Support the person
• Disrupt the interaction, remove the person from the situation
• Speak up, tell the person they are being unkind and it’s not okay.
• Get help, talk to an adult 

We also clarified that we do not become bullies to a bully, or mean to someone being mean. We instead hold tight to our Values and show we do not agree with that behaviour by demonstrating the opposite positive behaviour. 

Many of our older children have the added dynamic of social media, which can very easily turn into a platform for bullying. Children will generally take more risks when it’s hidden behind a screen and there can be a sense of excitement created by pushing their normal boundaries of acceptable behaviour. My advice to parents is to be very cautious when allowing your children on social media, as, unfortunately, it is too common for children to be exposed to content and unkindness which can go unnoticed. This is one of the reasons many of these platforms are restricted to 13-year-olds. If they do have social media, talk to your child about strategies to keep themselves safe such as making sure accounts are private; as a parent have ways to monitor your child while they are on social media, avoid children being on social media alone in their rooms, and encourage them to talk to you if something makes them feel uncomfortable or upset. Also, encourage your children to be upstanders for others if they see something happening on social media and emphasise the importance of reporting it to an adult. 

We invite everyone to participate in Pink Shirt Day on Friday, 17th May, by wearing pink. It’s also an opportunity to have discussions with your child about being kind, as well as being a positive upstander. 

I hope you all have a lovely rest of your week and we see some sunshine for the weekend,

Ngaa mihi,

Nyree Olliver